Sorry 4 The Wait

I know what your thinking. Caleb, you cannot start arguably the best website of all time one week, only to follow the next week by not updating it at all. To all of you holding onto this sentiment, you are obviously wrong. I just did it.

Okay listen, I have been busy. Not to mention this website crashed from the profuse numbers of views it received upon my first two posts. Maybe in twenty years a server will be able to handle the 250 hits this site received over the past two weeks; but for now modern technology cannot keep up with your constant badgering. So if you were mad at me, don’t be. If anything, you should be mad at yourself.

The main reason I have not posted is because I have been enjoying the ONE WEEK break the University of North Carolina Football program graciously awarded us. That is a whole lot of summer to fit into seven days. So I have been pretty busy. When I say busy I mean WAY too lazy to do anything remotely challenging (Yes, this includes finding the remote). But don’t you worry. I have engaged in some pretty incredible activities this week that you all would probably be moderately interested in hearing about. Unfortunately, I cannot go into all of them right now. But here is a teaser:

-Right now I am going strong with four nights in a row sleeping in the same bed as Appalachian State safety, Patrick Blalock. As impressive as this is, there is a strong possibility I can improve this number tonight. Fingers crossed.

Patti B, himself

-I have kicked it with old friend and Alabama defensive lineman Jeoffrey Pagan. Jeoffrey went to middle school and high school with me before he transferred to a rival school his junior year. He actually played wide receiver the whole time I was with him. I even threw him a pass his junior year when he played at the other school, he was just on defense. It was actually one of only ones he ever caught. In our time together this week we did the only obvious thing to do: watch our middle school game film. Below you can check our 8th grade selves out connecting on a pass, and then doing a little impromptu razzle-dazzle for the all ladies in attendance.

-I have also plotted and schemed a way to steal Jeoffrey’s two national championship rings and sell them to a local pawnshop. I figure I can get at least enough money to fill Buddy Blackjack up when I return to Chapel Hill.

Sellin these babies.

– I also went to my old middle school’s spring musical, Willy Wonka. I used the production as an excuse to return to my old stomping grounds and remind everyone that I am still the sheriff in town (If “the sheriff in town” means “the coolest middle schooler ever,” that is.) I proved this by wearing a backwards hat, sitting in the back like I didn’t care, booing the main character, and rolling the windows down and playing explicit rap music at maximum volume while exiting the campus. It is safe to say everyone got the reminder loud and clear.

-Another great thing that happened over this break was my mom stopped caring about me. What I meant to say was for the first time in my young life, my mom did not make me text her at every point of my night while I was out. This may seem insignificant to you, but believe me that’s a big step. In the right direction, might I add.

Anyways, a ton of other super cool stuff happened to me this break that I would love to tell you about but honestly never will. I apologize for this past week of inactivity, I truly am sorry 4 the wait. I can only hope to live up to the precedent set by Wayne and excite you with my return only to thoroughly disappoint you with my next post. In the meantime, be blessed and stay safe. Boosie is free ya know.

Sorry 4 the Wait

 

Ya,

Caleb Pressley

 

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